The Role Mirror Neurons Play in Passing on Family Karma

Molly Holmes, LMFT Author

May 24, 2023 |

Mirror neurons in our brains reflect our mental and emotional states to our child’s brain and create neural maps that can pass on the same patterns.

What are mirror neurons?

Mirror neurons are neurons in the brain that fire when you perform or see someone perform an action. When we watch someone help an elderly person carry groceries, for example, the same mirror neurons fire in our brain, as if we were doing it ourselves. And of course eye contact is how you bond with your baby while those neurons are firing from all the coos of love. Clearly, mirror neurons play a profound role in our ability to attune to our children’s mental and emotional states. But when we are emotionally triggered, we become preoccupied. In this state, we are unable to stay mindfully connected and they start soaking up our old psychic stuff. Because their brains read our facial expressions, which evoke the same emotions we are feeling within them. As a result, being able to be present and reflective makes all the difference in what our children inherit psychologically from us.

Mirror, mirror ... in your brain

The debate about nature vs. nurture continues, but the truth is that what shapes human behavior is a complex dance between the two. In addition, the person’s individual soul purpose and lessons have an incredible influence on how this interplay is interpreted and expressed. And the Multigenerational Transmission Process, a term coined by Murray Bowen, explains how this phenomenon works and illustrates how family emotional processes are transferred and maintained across generations. It posits that the whole family joins in what is called the “Family Projection Process” by reinforcing the beliefs of the family. Families usually continue these patterns over generations, and they refer back to previous generations. For example, family members may say things like: “He’s just like his grandpa; he had a bad temper too” or “She’s just like Aunt Jane; she was always getting into trouble too.” Unfortunately, when children are seen this way and hear these types of statements, they often become self-fulfilling prophecies. And when these judgments are mirrored to them via mirror neurons, their brains usually pattern that way as well.

What we feel, say, and do is mirrored and modeled to our children.

Clearly, our mental and emotional states dramatically affect our children via mirror neurons. For example, one experiment, used heart rhythms to show that babies can “catch” their parents’ stressed-out moods. A group of mothers were randomly assigned a stressful task, like public speaking. When the mothers were reunited with their infants, the infants showed matching cardiac responses. In other words, the babies mirrored the patterns of their stressed mothers. The truth is that our nervous systems are connected to our children biologically and energetically. This means they can feel what we are experiencing across time and space. For instance, research, shows that when parents fight, their infant’s nervous system becomes stressed, even when he or she is sleeping in another room. There really is no time off for parents, but Mindful Attachment Parenting teaches you how to relax in spite of this. And how to mindfully build a secure attachment—no matter what life throws at you.

Being mindful about our psychic “stuff”

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I would wake up in the morning, and then, not seconds later, I would psychically “feel” her wake up too. Like clockwork, she would start vigorously moving around, with her brain in a waking state. How is it that she could feel me wake up, and I could feel her wake up in return? My theory is that mirror neurons work on an energetic level as well as a bio-neurological one. According to energy healing modalities, we do have an energetic nervous system as well as an energetic brain. This has profound implications for how unresolved psychic material gets passed down to our kiddos. In fact, when I used to facilitate Mommy & Me groups, I could literally sense the energy of family karma pouring into the psyche of an infant when a mom (or dad if he was the primary caregiver) was triggered. Conversely, I felt it stop once the parent regulated his or her emotions. And we know that mirror neurons can pattern our child’s brain to match our own biopsychological states, which makes being mindful about our own psychic stuff so important.

Mirror neurons are the biological bridge to feeling connected to others

Remember, mirror neurons are also stimulated when we observe the actions and emotions of those around us. This is why laughter is contagious—and, conversely, why you feel another’s pain—and why your baby smiles when you do. Mirror neurons also are known as “empathy neurons,” and these amazing neurons are what help us put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and are one of the biological mechanisms of how we pick up on someone’s or some place’s “vibes.” They also teach us how to behave. For example, the way that children imitate their parents’ behavior while playing house is a function of mirror neurons. And they give us the felt experience of interconnectedness with others. Because empathy is a function of our soul, it allows us to experience the unified field of reality to which we are all connected. Overall, they are instrumental in how we feel about ourselves, others, and the world around us.

Empathic ability of mirror neurons

In order for your brain to adopt another’s action as your own, you must be able to understand another person’s point of view. This is the science behind why neuroscientists believe mirror neurons can help us understand consciousness, empathy, and interconnectedness. In addition, this knowledge underscores the power and responsibility of our actions and the intentions behind our actions. Also, mirror neurons prove that feeling, not logic, is the basis of our interactions with others, because when we empathize with other people, we can feel their emotions via mirror neurons. Moreover, as these mirror neurons fire in our brains and energy fields, it affects all of the brains and energy fields of the people in the area. This happens in our family home and in group settings at large. Consequently, this process is profoundly significant and demonstrates humanity’s interconnectedness.

Spiritual practices, like mindfulness meditation, increase self-awareness through improved brain functioning.

In addition, these exercises, especially mindfulness meditation, reinforce mirror neuron activity while strengthening the nervous system. As with any biological ability, we have to access and use our mirror neurons in order for them to multiply, deepening our ability to become more conscious. Thus, shifting our consciousness changes how the firing of mirror neurons in our own body relays signals about what is happening in the world around us. When mirror neurons in parenting are positive, the child will be on track to have a secure, happy, and healthy life from the inside out. And when this happens collectively, the outer result is a society that is more prosocial, peaceful, and prosperous overall. But it is never too late, because the adult brain can change throughout the lifespan by reworking and rewiring negative patterns originating in childhood. The creation of positive neural maps for ourselves and our children is the hope for humanity and the foundation of the MAP approach.

Sign up for my FREE COURSE 5 Simple Steps to Parent With Less Stress & More Mindfulness to learn other key Zen Mommy MAP strategies!

Categories: : Holistic Psychology, Mindful Attachment Parenting